Ok, first thing is an explanation of my title: it's a song by Smashmouth and I chose it because for about 4 hours a day, I have 20+ pairs of eyes staring at me, it's kinda eerie.
Next is the quote, which I know I don't normally explain, however in this case I feel I need to. I don't want you to read it and think "God, she's full of herself, thinking she's one of these "naturals" that Mr. Drucker speaks about". It's not that at all, being a natural is what I'm striving to do. I want to be good at teaching so badly and it's consuming my life. (Also you may look at that quote and think with a surname like Drucker, you might leave out that your middle intial is F).
I've been teaching now for almost 3 weeks and some days I leave school loving life, loving teaching, loving my pupils, and then there's other days where I'd want nothing more than to pack it in and go home to Canada. But that's what teacher's college is all about. I feel a joy when they understand something that I've taught them, when I watch them struggle and then I change tactics, and I watch the lightbulb go off and it's "Miss! I've got it!" (I now no longer just respond to Laura or Mulrine, my new names consist of either Miss or the Canadian Lady).
However, there's a flipside to this joy, and it's when kids just can't be bothered. It actually breaks my heart that they aren't interested in what I'm teaching, and it annoys me that for my older classes, they've made the choice to study history. They don't understand the importance of the First World War - they think I'm teaching them about machine guns or planes for the hell of it, when really I'm trying to point out that these were weapons of mass destruction killing thousands of people in minutes. But they don't care, they just complain that I make them write too much. Granted there is a lot of writing, but I fill the powerpoints with pictures and then one day a week we do no copying. Last Friday we watched a documentary - I'm comprimising. If I'm being honest, and perhaps I'll sound like a snob but I think history may be wasted on them.
I'm making it seem like doom and gloom, and it's not, it's just sometimes it gets you down. Everyone is telling me not to take it personally, but if we didn't take it personally we wouldn't be human. I did have a proper teacher moment the other day - this is the stuff that you would see in Dead Poet's Society or something, like if they ever make a film about my teaching career, this will be in it. I finished off a class on Trench Warfare talking about how poetry can be used as a primary source and can really aid in understanding history. I didn't choose the usual Dulce et Decorum est or Flanders Fields poetry of the male writers, instead I chose a female poet. I told the kids how women's poetry isn't as well regarded as the men's, how in some cases it isn't seen as literature, but it's still powerful nonetheless. I didn't think anyone was listening to me, but at the end of the class a girl came up to me and asked if I had any more copies of the book I read from. I told her it was my own personal one and she then wondered if she could borrow it because she was really interested in what I'd said. I could have hugged her! I ofcourse said yes and even showed her where I'd marked my favourite poems. I left the class on a cloud, 19 of those pupils might not have taken anything from what I told them, but that one girl, my saving grace was interested in what I had taught her.
So that's how my moods have been - up and down. It makes for a very tiring life. I rarely get to bed before 2am because I'm always putting lessons together. Somedays I don't even get changed I just fall onto my bed and sleep for a few hours. Tonight I finished early and that's why you get a blog entry!
In other news, I finally got a job. I'm working as a host in TGIFriday's right in the town centre. I get to be happy and cheerful all the time and show people their seats. This isn't really a problem for me because I'm generally pretty happy!
I have some new pictures of my niece Frances - she is beautiful and so alert. She totally knows someone is taking a photo of her! Wise beyond her years - and she has my nose :)
So here' s some photos of Frances and I think I may have some of my new nephew Aydan.
